SCHOOL By: Aja Johnson, Shekinah Eason, Noah Rouse, & Dajae Drew

School is great and there are no problems at all. Everything is perfect! We love doing homework and staying up until 2am every night trying to get it done. The lunch food is delicious and tasty, cold and hard, and to drink milk with everything tops it all off. Don’t forget the fact that we have to use the bathroom in the morning at home before we get to school as many times as we can since we can’t use them while we’re in school.

Teachers don’t let us go to the bathroom when we ask. It’s all good. We’ll just pee in our seats, pee on ourselves, walk around with wet yellow spots on our pants. We’re all comfortable here. We have hall passes in our planners, but we can’t use them. So, the school must have put those passes in there for decoration, using up paper, killing trees for no reason and affecting our environment. How about not even printing those hall passes and that way we can save trees, and we’ll all be happy.

Since we cannot go to the bathroom in school, then why are there even bathrooms available? It must be a tease or something. The teachers just want us to urine on ourselves and for us all to pee together. They encourage us to drink water as if that stuff doesn’t have to come out sooner or later. So, why are there bathrooms in schools? The best solution is to fill the bathrooms with classrooms. That would be perfect! And would come in handy in case we overpopulate of students peeing too much in class, we’ll have extra classrooms. It’s such a nice feeling, holding our urine in. Might as well let it out and let it flow onto the floor in the classrooms. Then, teachers will really have to give us a pass out of the class.

BREAKING NEWS COUPLE FORMS THROUGH SOCIAL NETWORKING

In today’s society the most popular websites among teens all over the world is now Facebook, Twitter, and skype .They have become common that couples meet and form through these networks just like the newest couple, Sammy and John. Sammy stated “I get dressed up in my best and take as many pictures as I can and post them on Facebook so everyone can see “.I even have competitions with my friends to see who can get the most likes on a photo. I found out about john through my news feed on my homepage because I saw a mutual friend post a comment on his wall. I clicked on his page and added him and we have been talking ever since. Everyone knew we were talking and found out we made it official by posting “we were in a relationship on Facebook “The couple has never met in person and feel there is no need to because they either instant message (IM) each other on Facebook or get on another social networking site Called Skype .Skype is designed for people with webcams to talk and see people visually. We’ve talked to john and he stated “there is no need for us to go outside in this beautiful world to see to see each other. Whenever I miss Sammy ,I know she will be online and I skype her and we talk for hours .We have even fell asleep on Skype a couple of times, its normal”. A friend of the couple who has asked to remain anonymous told us some information about the couples relationship “whenever Sammy and john are in an argument we all know about it because one of them either makes a Facebook status about it or they make a tweet about it on twitter , then everyone gets on skype and talks about the situation .Twitter is known as a modern day diary for teens to make tweets and for people to follow them .It has been proven that 95% of teens are enjoying these sites and don’t want to see the world . They starve themselves and are not keeping up with their hygiene. Kids are Funky and Bulimic because of these social networks. These sites are a great influence on our children. We need more!

RACIAL RESIDENCE

My grandpa told me a lot of people at his old folk’s home were black. I never met any black people in real life. I saw them on TV, on the news, but never in real life in harm’s way. I stared to wonder what old black people fell like, and what they did. Do they rob the whites for their pills, and put spinners on their wheel chair wheels? Do they wear baggy clothes that let their butt show? I didn’t have a clue, and I really wanted to know. So I did a little investigation. I invaded OPN (that’s code for old. people. nation) and found out some irregular things. I was highly amazed about what all I had seen. I saw a lady named Miss Johnson sniffing a line of codeine. So I cautiously walked up to her and asked her what she was doing, and she said, young boy what do you mean? I didn’t ask anymore question, I just left it alone. Then I started to walk down the hallway that had a strong odor of old cabbage, and binge. I think I may have made a left when I was supposed to go right, so I turned around and headed toward my grandpa’s door because it was getting late. I started to remember my grandfather telling me when it starts to get dark, and the lights dim down, someone is sure to get rapped. Out of the blue a door flung open, and there stood a man with a lot of stolen merchandise: Cd’s, DVDs, back pills, and false teeth. He even said he had “the hookup” for the liquid version of the substitution of meat. I said, no sir I’m fine, I’m not looking for anything. Then he closed the door, and in the same motion I shot down the hall, trying to escape the grip of darkness cold hands. Grandpa’s door was in the near distance, so I turned on my magic shoes. Hoping I could make it to room 1w without a bullet hole type of wound or bruise. And right when I made it to the door my hearted stopped, and my eyes fell out of my head…someone had robbed my grandfather clean. Down to the bed pan. I swear this is the last time I visit grandpa again. I know it was the black people who had done this, and were the reason I had such I crappy day. I hoped the nice white security guards would find them, and take all their pudding away. My investigation showed as this that even when you try to put black and white people together the race in the racism, and discriminate views will always carry them far apart, and even if on the outside everything may look good, we still are not living the part.

WRITTEN BY:D. Lesley, K. Haywood, J. Coffee, K. Shavers, T. Muhammad, A. Watchuku

Kenwood Students Smartest in the Country

By: Sandy B, Candace H, Brendon M Alex N, David R

4th Period

In recent test scores, (because, as we know, test scores show intelligence) it has been discovered that Kenwood students are the smartest in the country. These students, who are self proclaimed "determated," are truly a group of super geniuses. Despite freshman failing rates and rapidly decreasing ACT scores, they are showing an increased ability level in all subjects taught. An amazing 5.96% of students are passing ALL their classes, and approximately 98% of the student body will believe made-up statistics. Even better news is that these already high percentages are increasing. More and more freshmen are already beginning to understand how gravity works. The question on everyone's lips is, how? And can the rest of the country immitate the tactics used in Kenwood?

Some would argue that the solution is in funding. Studies have shown that money going into Ron Huberman's pocket and going to superfluous events that no one attends are ACTUALLY the right way to spend it. These are much better uses of the taxpayer's money than silly things such as getting up-to-date textbooks or removing the asbestos from the ceilings. It is obvious that education is getting better because we have stopped spending money on frivolous things, like better computers.

It is also possible that public education is improving with the students' upbeat attitudes. Kenwood students are selfless, kind, and show up to school chipper everyday. Our reporters set up a station in the Kenwood lunch room where students could write messages about their incredible intelligence. One young woman (who wishes to remain anonymous) wrote:

"Jo i caint stan dis school. Imma drop outta dis ...." Those are the words of a true scholar.

Also, the students are all very hard working. Every student does all of their homework every night. The teachers are very demanding and give large amounts of work in class and to take home. But the students continue to meet these high expectations by doing all of their work and by being completely ready for all of their classes every day. They also have no complaints and lots of respect for their hard working teachers.

To sum it all up, Kenwood Academy and the Chicago Public School funding system are the best of their kind the United States has ever seen

HIGH GAS PRICES

RITA,TINA,ALBERTA AND JASMINE.

Previously on HCO, people were driving their cars. Some people were going to work and others were going to school etc. All of the suddden, all the cars stopped because people ran out of gas and traffic was all over the county. Since gas prices were so high, no one was able to buy gas. everyone was in the streets because tharted dey could not go anywhere. People began starving and started dieing because no one was able to buy food. People also began to fight because people were complaining about parking spots. How can a car be parked well when these people are out of gas, but there is a solutiond . Find some gas and matches and burn the whole city down so that is 2oo trillion people in the streets will die; that is not even much clompared to everyone in the world. when this happens, no one will be able to complain about people making noise. how about lovers having sex infront of kids. Can you imagine what happens to them-they become brainwashed. What about people marrying their relatives because they cannot travel and meet new people. These are all great advantages of high gas prices. another try thing is that, the country itself will have a high stock which will bring depression to the country, many illetrates because people cannot afford education and all this crisis results in death!, death!,death!. Yay, what a great idea. to get to my pint no matter how silly this proposal is, others would love to make it happen but definately not me. Here is the real solution, we have to construct cars that uses less gas. Americans should also start drilling their own gasses instead of getting it from other countries. Whe have no choice than to start now. Make it happen.

Obesity

Did you know that ronald mcdonald is an alien? He drug deals grease stained french fries that werent even made from france. He made dollar menus to attack starving crack heads making his recipes affordable for the poor brain controlling them to lurk busy streets to beg for change. He has a space ship full of contaminated big macs to provide to the human race. And that secret orange sauce is just left over fat he skinned from overweight victims. Them fast food resturants you pass by everyday are phat farms. They stuff us with heart attacks and strokes. Too much cholesterol can usually get the best of all. They want us to roll down the street on our fat stomachs to their kitchens. Making the doors twice as big each year so we can fit in. RonAld mcdonald plans on running for president one day and when he runs for america.. He expects us to all have couches to sit on to take on healthy inactive lifestyles. He wants to put and end to the epidemic of skinny people that reside in this country. 10 piece nuggets a day will keep tbe doctor away. Itshard for us to lose weight so lets gain weight, shutup be happy and die. Andthis is why lifes short. Shorter then the time it takes for us to whip around a drive through and stretch out money for long term death. And if you think about it they lovin it so shouldnt we?

Is it good being fat
Eating greasy foods (2 for 4 Big Macs)
My Guy having late night heart attacks
But mine felt good
No participation in PE at Kenwood
Couldn’t run up the stairs if I could
My body said maybe I should
435 pounds man the weight feels good but I don’t think I would
While yall out driving,
I’m in the back getting chauffeured
Who else thinks it’s cool but me
Girls think I’m ugly
All I got is my dog named Dudley
He’s so cuddly
That’s all that I need
Dudes mean mug me
Walking down the street, my stomach is the whole FRONT side of me
Try to look down Can’t see my feet, Give me a answer PLEASE
Why do I have a strong feeling towards OBESITY?


It feels really great being fat
Having late night heart-attacks
And feeling the cellulite from my stomach
Touching my knee caps
Ahh, I love being a prisoner of war with my health
I’m not addicted to fast food
I don’t need help
If I wanted to lose weight, I’d do it myself
But since I don’t, and I won’t
I’m gonna tell you what I want

I would like a:
Heart attack
A fat neck
A double- chin
Men breasts
And a stroke on the side

What a healthy selection right?
I love being fat
I don’t want to be light
If you have a problem
We can surely fight
Nevermind, I’m not barbaric
And why give another reason to be called hysteric
I’m huge and I face the facts
But these are the things that come with that.

But wait- i wanna be proud about taking my shirt off at the beach/
and i dont wanna take up half the sidewalk walkin down the street/
i wanna live- im tired of fallin through the floor/
and i wanna build up the courage to talk to the girl i adore/
but i cant because my mouth is filled with food and grease/
and every snack that i have ends up being a feast/
man im so fat i cant even run away from my fears/
i'd be too tired and you can even hear-/
when i breathe its so heavy it'll make your heart stop/
if i eat too much i think your about to hear my heart drop/
i look sloppy and i got a double chin/
when my mom had her ultra sound they thought she was having twins/
but it was me all alone with my over sized thighs/
i need to exercise i dont wanna die/
i wanna be able to run around with my friends and not hold them back/
its not their fault that i'm fat/
but they do motivate me/
i wanna be like them and have a girl wanna date me/
so imma throw away the burgers and pour out the milkshakes/
..well wait/
just one more sip before i try/
to give it all up and say goodbye/
nah scratch that here you can have the milkshake back/
it tired of this- no more being fat!!!

written by: Tyler B. Keith H. Kevin A. Deandre P.