tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79184577353249566532024-02-08T11:41:29.152-08:00Original Satire by Kenwood's British Literature Students 2011This is a collection of the original satires that were written by some of Kenwood Academy's Honors English III students. We hope that you will read about the issues that we find important. It's great if you LAUGH, but we're hoping that you'll also take the time to seriously THINK about these issues and ACT to help change the problems that many of us face each day. LAUGH, THINK, ACT.Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-70954758667338282752011-02-25T17:12:00.000-08:002011-02-25T17:22:51.029-08:00SCHOOL By: Aja Johnson, Shekinah Eason, Noah Rouse, & Dajae Drew<span style="color:#000066;">School is great and there are no problems at all. Everything is perfect! We love doing homework and staying up until 2am every night trying to get it done. The lunch food is delicious and tasty, cold and hard, and to drink milk with everything tops it all off. Don’t forget the fact that we have to use the bathroom in the morning at home before we get to school as many times as we can since we can’t use them while we’re in school.<br /><br />Teachers don’t let us go to the bathroom when we ask. It’s all good. We’ll just pee in our seats, pee on ourselves, walk around with wet yellow spots on our pants. We’re all comfortable here. We have hall passes in our planners, but we can’t use them. So, the school must have put those passes in there for decoration, using up paper, killing trees for no reason and affecting our environment. How about not even printing those hall passes and that way we can save trees, and we’ll all be happy.<br /><br />Since we cannot go to the bathroom in school, then why are there even bathrooms available? It must be a tease or something. The teachers just want us to urine on ourselves and for us all to pee together. They encourage us to drink water as if that stuff doesn’t have to come out sooner or later. So, why are there bathrooms in schools? The best solution is to fill the bathrooms with classrooms. That would be perfect! And would come in handy in case we overpopulate of students peeing too much in class, we’ll have extra classrooms. It’s such a nice feeling, holding our urine in. Might as well let it out and let it flow onto the floor in the classrooms. Then, teachers will really have to give us a pass out of the class. </span>Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-28581496775911392012011-02-23T21:50:00.000-08:002011-02-23T21:52:13.972-08:00BREAKING NEWS COUPLE FORMS THROUGH SOCIAL NETWORKING<p class="MsoNormal">In today’s society the most popular websites among teens all over the world is now Facebook, Twitter, and skype .They have become common that couples meet and form through these networks just like the newest couple, Sammy and John. Sammy stated “I get dressed up in my best and take as many pictures as I can and post them on Facebook so everyone can see “.I even have competitions with my friends to see who can get the most likes on a photo. I found out about john through my news feed on my homepage because I saw a mutual friend post a comment on his wall. I clicked on his page and added him and we have been talking ever since. Everyone knew we were talking and found out we made it official by posting “we were in a relationship on Facebook “The couple has never met in person and feel there is no need to because they either instant message (IM) each other on Facebook or get on another social networking site Called Skype .Skype is designed for people with webcams to talk and see people visually. We’ve talked to john and he stated “there is no need for us to go outside in this beautiful world to see to see each other. Whenever I miss Sammy ,I know she will be online and I skype her and we talk for hours .We have even fell asleep on Skype a couple of times, its normal”. A friend of the couple who has asked to remain anonymous told us some information about the couples relationship “whenever Sammy<span style=""> </span>and john are in an argument we all know about it because one of them either makes a Facebook status about it or they make a tweet about it on twitter , then everyone gets on skype and talks about the situation .Twitter is known as a modern day diary for teens to make tweets and for people to follow them .It has been proven that 95% of teens are enjoying these sites and don’t want to see the world . They starve themselves and are not keeping up with their hygiene. Kids are Funky and Bulimic because of these social networks. These sites are a great influence on our children. We need more!</p>Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-13423613476908258442011-02-23T20:49:00.000-08:002011-02-23T20:56:50.510-08:00RACIAL RESIDENCE<div align="center">My grandpa told me a lot of people at his old folk’s home were black. I never met any black people in real life. I saw them on TV, on the news, but never in real life in harm’s way. I stared to wonder what old black people fell like, and what they did. Do they rob the whites for their pills, and put spinners on their wheel chair wheels? Do they wear baggy clothes that let their butt show? I didn’t have a clue, and I really wanted to know. So I did a little investigation. I invaded OPN (that’s code for old. people. nation) and found out some irregular things. I was highly amazed about what all I had seen. I saw a lady named Miss Johnson sniffing a line of codeine. So I cautiously walked up to her and asked her what she was doing, and she said, young boy what do you mean? I didn’t ask anymore question, I just left it alone. Then I started to walk down the hallway that had a strong odor of old cabbage, and binge. I think I may have made a left when I was supposed to go right, so I turned around and headed toward my grandpa’s door because it was getting late. I started to remember my grandfather telling me when it starts to get dark, and the lights dim down, someone is sure to get rapped. Out of the blue a door flung open, and there stood a man with a lot of stolen merchandise: Cd’s, DVDs, back pills, and false teeth. He even said he had “the hookup” for the liquid version of the substitution of meat. I said, no sir I’m fine, I’m not looking for anything. Then he closed the door, and in the same motion I shot down the hall, trying to escape the grip of darkness cold hands. Grandpa’s door was in the near distance, so I turned on my magic shoes. Hoping I could make it to room 1w without a bullet hole type of wound or bruise. And right when I made it to the door my hearted stopped, and my eyes fell out of my head…someone had robbed my grandfather clean. Down to the bed pan. I swear this is the last time I visit grandpa again. I know it was the black people who had done this, and were the reason I had such I crappy day. I hoped the nice white security guards would find them, and take all their pudding away. My investigation showed as this that even when you try to put black and white people together the race in the racism, and discriminate views will always carry them far apart, and even if on the outside everything may look good, we still are not living the part. </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> WRITTEN BY:D. Lesley, K. Haywood, J. Coffee, K. Shavers, T. Muhammad, A. Watchuku</div>Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-62388292065876841172011-02-23T19:21:00.000-08:002011-02-23T19:23:35.103-08:00Kenwood Students Smartest in the Country<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:relyonvml/> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> 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mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >By: Sandy B, Candace H, Brendon M Alex N, David R<br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >4th Period<br /></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >In recent test scores, (because, as we know, test scores show intelligence) it has been discovered that Kenwood students are the smartest in the country. These students, who are self proclaimed "determated," are truly a group of super geniuses. Despite freshman failing rates and rapidly decreasing ACT scores, they are showing an increased ability level in all subjects taught. An amazing 5.96% of students are passing ALL their classes, and approximately 98% of the student body will believe made-up statistics. Even better news is that these already high percentages are increasing. More and more freshmen are already beginning to understand how gravity works. The question on everyone's lips is, how? And can the rest of the country immitate the tactics used in Kenwood?</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" > Some would argue that the solution is in funding. Studies have shown that money going into Ron Huberman's pocket and going to superfluous events that no one attends are ACTUALLY the right way to spend it. These are much better uses of the taxpayer's money than silly things such as getting up-to-date textbooks or removing the asbestos from the ceilings. It is obvious that education is getting better because we have stopped spending money on frivolous things, like better computers.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" > It is also possible that public education is improving with the students' upbeat attitudes. Kenwood students are selfless, kind, and show up to school chipper everyday. Our reporters set up a station in the Kenwood lunch room where students could write messages about their incredible intelligence. One young woman (who wishes to remain anonymous) wrote:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >"Jo i caint stan dis school. Imma drop outta dis ...." </span><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >Those are the words of a true scholar.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >Also, the students are all very hard working. Every student does all of their homework every night. The teachers are very demanding and give large amounts of work in class and to take home. But the students continue to meet these high expectations by doing all of their work and by being completely ready for all of their classes every day. They also have no complaints and lots of respect for their hard working teachers.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >To sum it all up, Kenwood Academy and the Chicago Public School funding system are the best of their kind the United States has ever seen</span></p>Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-1999051393337159602011-02-23T17:38:00.001-08:002011-02-23T17:38:10.275-08:00Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-9945740919169360062011-02-23T17:11:00.000-08:002011-02-23T18:07:07.632-08:00HIGH GAS PRICES<div align="center">RITA,TINA,ALBERTA AND JASMINE.</div>
<br /><div align="left"> Previously on HCO, people were driving their cars. Some people were going to work and others were going to school etc. All of the suddden, all the cars stopped because people ran out of gas and traffic was all over the county. Since gas prices were so high, no one was able to buy gas. everyone was in the streets because tharted dey could not go anywhere. People began starving and started dieing because no one was able to buy food. People also began to fight because people were complaining about parking spots. How can a car be parked well when these people are out of gas, but there is a solutiond . Find some gas and matches and burn the whole city down so that is 2oo trillion people in the streets will die; that is not even much clompared to everyone in the world. when this happens, no one will be able to complain about people making noise. how about lovers having sex infront of kids. Can you imagine what happens to them-they become brainwashed. What about people marrying their relatives because they cannot travel and meet new people. These are all great advantages of high gas prices. another try thing is that, the country itself will have a high stock which will bring depression to the country, many illetrates because people cannot afford education and all this crisis results in death!, death!,death!. Yay, what a great idea. to get to my pint no matter how silly this proposal is, others would love to make it happen but definately not me. Here is the real solution, we have to construct cars that uses less gas. Americans should also start drilling their own gasses instead of getting it from other countries. Whe have no choice than to start now. Make it happen.</div>
<br /><div align="left"> </div>Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-72656353393768156142011-02-23T09:32:00.000-08:002011-02-23T09:43:13.985-08:00ObesityDid you know that ronald mcdonald is an alien? He drug deals grease stained french fries that werent even made from france. He made dollar menus to attack starving crack heads making his recipes affordable for the poor brain controlling them to lurk busy streets to beg for change. He has a space ship full of contaminated big macs to provide to the human race. And that secret orange sauce is just left over fat he skinned from overweight victims. Them fast food resturants you pass by everyday are phat farms. They stuff us with heart attacks and strokes. Too much cholesterol can usually get the best of all. They want us to roll down the street on our fat stomachs to their kitchens. Making the doors twice as big each year so we can fit in. RonAld mcdonald plans on running for president one day and when he runs for america.. He expects us to all have couches to sit on to take on healthy inactive lifestyles. He wants to put and end to the epidemic of skinny people that reside in this country. 10 piece nuggets a day will keep tbe doctor away. Itshard for us to lose weight so lets gain weight, shutup be happy and die. Andthis is why lifes short. Shorter then the time it takes for us to whip around a drive through and stretch out money for long term death. And if you think about it they lovin it so shouldnt we?<br /><br />Is it good being fat<br />Eating greasy foods (2 for 4 Big Macs)<br />My Guy having late night heart attacks<br />But mine felt good<br />No participation in PE at Kenwood<br />Couldn’t run up the stairs if I could<br />My body said maybe I should<br />435 pounds man the weight feels good but I don’t think I would<br />While yall out driving,<br /> I’m in the back getting chauffeured<br />Who else thinks it’s cool but me<br />Girls think I’m ugly<br />All I got is my dog named Dudley<br />He’s so cuddly<br />That’s all that I need<br />Dudes mean mug me<br />Walking down the street, my stomach is the whole FRONT side of me<br />Try to look down Can’t see my feet, Give me a answer PLEASE<br />Why do I have a strong feeling towards OBESITY?<br /><br /><br />It feels really great being fat<br />Having late night heart-attacks<br /> And feeling the cellulite from my stomach<br />Touching my knee caps<br />Ahh, I love being a prisoner of war with my health<br />I’m not addicted to fast food<br />I don’t need help<br />If I wanted to lose weight, I’d do it myself<br />But since I don’t, and I won’t<br />I’m gonna tell you what I want<br /><br />I would like a:<br />Heart attack<br />A fat neck<br />A double- chin<br />Men breasts<br />And a stroke on the side<br /><br />What a healthy selection right?<br />I love being fat<br />I don’t want to be light<br />If you have a problem<br />We can surely fight<br />Nevermind, I’m not barbaric<br />And why give another reason to be called hysteric<br />I’m huge and I face the facts<br />But these are the things that come with that.<br /><br />But wait- i wanna be proud about taking my shirt off at the beach/<br />and i dont wanna take up half the sidewalk walkin down the street/<br /> i wanna live- im tired of fallin through the floor/<br />and i wanna build up the courage to talk to the girl i adore/<br />but i cant because my mouth is filled with food and grease/<br />and every snack that i have ends up being a feast/<br />man im so fat i cant even run away from my fears/<br />i'd be too tired and you can even hear-/<br /> when i breathe its so heavy it'll make your heart stop/<br />if i eat too much i think your about to hear my heart drop/<br />i look sloppy and i got a double chin/<br />when my mom had her ultra sound they thought she was having twins/<br />but it was me all alone with my over sized thighs/<br />i need to exercise i dont wanna die/<br />i wanna be able to run around with my friends and not hold them back/<br />its not their fault that i'm fat/<br />but they do motivate me/<br />i wanna be like them and have a girl wanna date me/<br />so imma throw away the burgers and pour out the milkshakes/<br />..well wait/<br />just one more sip before i try/<br />to give it all up and say goodbye/<br />nah scratch that here you can have the milkshake back/<br />it tired of this- no more being fat!!!<br /><br />written by: Tyler B. Keith H. Kevin A. Deandre P.Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-71280469105131168652011-02-23T09:22:00.000-08:002011-02-23T09:32:08.433-08:00BREAKING NEWS: WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS THE BEST COUPLE, UNTIED BY FACEBOOKA young couple was united by social networking, what we know as Facebook, Skype, and Twitter. We have interviewed Sammie and John to get there perspectives on hooking up over the worldwide web through mutual friends. The first question was for Sammie, What did you think when your friend Angela asked you to add John? “Well at first I was a little like what kind of guy is this that wants to hook up with me through facebook.”( She giggles)<br /> I was not impressed but once we began to talk and have conversations it was cool”. We asked John the same questions and this is what he said. “Well I knew that it would be kind of lame to get Angela to ask her to add me but hey what can I say”. “I thought she was cute and wanted to get to know her.” So we know that you two did not meet each other for a month because you guys dated online. Tell me what were the advantages? “John” “The best thing about dating her over the internet was I could still do what I wanted to do in the comfort of my house”. What about being able to see each other? “That’s good you asked because this is where Skype comes in we would hook up our webcam and have a good time”. What do you think Sammie? “Well it was kind of cheesy at first but I started to get into the not having to find something to wear and messing up my closet so it was cool. Then when I would get mad at him I had what is a open diary, which is twitter, I could vent all night long about him. I really love the trending topics.” Well that’s good I guess what happened when you guys first met each other in person for the first time? (Together) “There were lots of flaws.” What do you mean Sammie you explain first? “He was too hairy his arms looked like Rick Ross chin, he was short I mean I can not be mad at my genes I am 6’0’ feet. He is like 4’0’ that’s a problem.” You do not think that’s harsh? “Well” John what about you. “It was all wrong she had nails so long she can turn off her light from her bed. She could Probably dig her brain out when she picks her nose. Maybe that’s why she asked me could we see the Serious Tower, I always thought it was Sears Tower.” That’s real mature to say about her you could not tell when you talked on line? “No because people use slang on the computer, any way she is just slow”. We are going to end it here; it became so violent between them two that we had to call security to escort them out.Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-5336814128968726712011-02-23T09:09:00.000-08:002011-02-23T09:24:43.009-08:00Why Crime Rate is Crazy in Chicago<span >In my neighborhood, crime is not uncommon. Yesterday I watched this one guy get shot and last week I heard about some little kid getting stabbed. People wonder why the crime rate is so high, politicians say its gangs, other people say drugs, but I don’t think it’s any of that. I think the crime rate is high because there is never anything on TV, and the laws that was just passed about guns doesn’t make it any better. I mean, I was going crazy just the other day about how bored I was and wanted to shoot someone myself, but I held back. I think what the real solution would be if there was better TV shows are on or EVEN BETTER, everyone should just get a gun. Or…you could just make sure people have something to do with themselves like after school programs for kids and keeping the guns away and hidden so no one will take them.</span><br /><span > </span><br /><span >BY:Cierra, Lauren, Lawrence, Amere, Jereena 4th Period</span>Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-49620844822248687202011-02-23T09:05:00.000-08:002011-02-23T09:24:53.246-08:00KENWOOD'S URGENT EMAIL TO STUDENT BODY<div align="right"> </div><div align="right"><span style="font-family:arial;color:#000000;">4K 2/22/2011 10:30 AM </span></div><strong><span style="font-family:arial;color:#ff0000;">URGENT!</span></strong><br />Dear Students of Kenwood Academy,<br /> School policies are just so unfair to the students. After careful consideration, the administration and faculty feel that the rules are too harsh and should be demolished. The following rules have been created instead to make school a more inviting and fun environment for students. <br /><strong>Rules for clothes:</strong><br />Any colors that are too BRIGHT or DARK 20 detentions<br />Any pieces of clothing with too many words 20 detentions<br />Any v-necks pass your collar bone 25 detentions<br />Any shoes to colorful 20 detentions<br /><strong>Attendance:</strong><br />Late to any period 15 detentions and 25 dollar fee to teachers at the door.<br />Late more than 3 times 300 dollars and explosion<br /><strong>Bathroom:</strong><br />Will be closed during all periods you may use them before and after school<br />Bathrooms will be locked at 8:01<br /><strong>Hallways:</strong><br />Caught in the hallways after the bell rings security will escort you to the Little Theater where you will be held until you write a 100 page essay on why you should be on time to classes. All notes must be turned in a timely manner to the security guards or 100 detentions.<br /><strong>Detentions:</strong><br />Failure to serve any detentions will result in double the detentions the first time. Failure to serve those detentions will result in 100 dollar fee. Teachers have to get paid to stay late. Failure to pay and not serve will result in explosion. You have exactly one month to serve all the detentions.<br /> <br /> PS: The rules of Kenwood are used to help the student. The clothing policy is to ensure that students remain as modest as possible. Nobody should see everything you have. Those who hold 90% attendance will have any outstanding detentions removed. Bathroom passes will be giving to those who hold no behavior problems which will be given at the teacher’s discretion. Passing periods could be longer, as long as students are willing to extend class periods for every minute extra in the hallway. Any students who have no behavior problems can have 3 detentions removed per semester. Students with non-behavior problems will be rewarded. Please work with Kenwood Academy where Our Mission Is College to improve your behavior. If you work with Kenwood, Kenwood is willing to work with you. Those with behavior problems please improve on this to make Kenwood a better place. The better your behavior, the less rules that are needed.<br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />C.Winters. R.Guy S.Goodman A.Simmons<br />Kenwood’s Administrative StaffKenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-5027656297766410002011-02-23T06:36:00.000-08:002011-02-23T06:40:45.540-08:00CPS EFFICIENCY SKITSarah: Hi, I’m Sarah Miller. Welcome to the Daily Dose. Our top story tonight – CPS school efficiency. Kids in both the elementary and high school portions of CPS have rated their school system number one in the nation. For more on this story, we go to our education correspondent, Amilia Johnson, live at Dimwitt Collage Preparatory School in downtown Chicago. Amilia, are you there?<br />Amilia: Sarah? Sarah? Yes. Ok. I’m here. Hi Sarah, I’m downtown at Dimwitt Collage Preparatory School, where children have voted CPS the number one school system in America. Let’s go talk to a few of the students here and find out why. Excuse me, young lady.<br />Child: Yes?<br />Amilia: Hi, my name is Amilia and I’m doing a report for the Daily Dose on the CPS school system. What’s your name?<br />Child: My name is Frannie.<br />Amilia: Ok Frannie, why don’t you tell us what you like most about your school system and its administration.<br />Frannie: Well I’m really accident prone, so my favorite person in the administration is the nurse.<br />Amilia: Oh that’s good. Is she a good nurse?<br />Frannie: Oh yea, definitely. When you have a migraine, she gives you applesauce, and when you have a deep gash from cutting yourself on the metal under the bleachers when you were trying to get a ball back, she gives you a band-aid.<br />Amilia: Oh she is a good nurse!<br />Frannie: Oh and when I broke my ankle playing soccer last year, she gave me an ice pack and she let me lay down in her office for the rest of the day.<br />Amilia: Oh that’s really nice of her.<br />Frannie: I know right<br />Sarah: Umm Amilia? Amilia?<br />Amilia: Yes, Sarah?<br />Sarah: Did the nurse call an ambulance?<br />Amilia: No, she gave her an ice pack, didn’t you hear her?<br />Sarah: Umm ok, we’re gonna go to our live senior education correspondent, Lucas Stewart, who is at Dunce Elementary Academy. Lucas, are you there?<br />Lucas: Yes, Sarah. I’m live at Dunce Elementary Academy where children here have voted their administration the most efficient in the nation. Let’s see if we can get someone here to comment. Excuse me, young man.<br />Boy: What’s up?<br />Lucas: I’m doing a report for the Daily Dose on CPS administration. What do you think about your school’s administration?<br />Boy: Oh, they are so efficient. They are usually only 30 minutes late for meetings, and the teachers only mess up attendance eight out of ten times. <br />Lucas: Wow that is pretty good.<br />Boy: Oh yea that’s only 40% of the time, and my school has a great graduation rate, 20 percent.<br />Lucas: You only have a 20 percent drop-out rate.<br />Boy: No a 20 percent graduation rate. I’m on track to graduate in three years.<br />Lucas: You’re graduating early?<br />Boy: Nah man, I’m already a sophomore.<br />Lucas: Your school seems to be a very good school young man. You should be happy to be attending this fine institution.<br />Sarah: I hate to interrupt you as well, but being 30 minutes late for meetings and only getting attendance right 20 percent of the time, which is a statistical correction from what the child said, seems to be the opposite of efficiency.<br />Lucas: Oh no, Sarah. I mean they could be worse, they could never get attendance correct and they could just not show up at meetings.<br />Sarah: Ok well a 20 percent graduation rate?<br />Lucas: The Kentucky Public Schools only have a five percent graduation rate, so I would say this school is doing pretty good.<br />Sarah: Lucas Stewart and Amilia Johnson everyone, we’ll be right back.Kenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-40368356561465437742011-02-23T06:33:00.003-08:002011-02-23T08:03:51.823-08:00CYBERBULLYINGFebruary 15, 2011: James Welden Bogan High School @ CNB News<br /><br />Before every band competition all the veterans would crack jokes and talk about Sally Jenkins. At the winter concert Sally Jenkins had a solo. During her solo she got nervous and started playing all the wrong notes and ran off stage. While the audience and bad members continued in laughter. Once she got home “#sallyjenkinssucks” became the trending topic on twitter. Everyone was talking about how terrible her performance was. They called her a harlot and other insulting things. The next day at school she printed out all the twitter post and brought them to the principle. (Insert Dialog) Then afterwards she ran home to tell her mother wants going on. Her mother responded “Everything will be alright, if not just kill yourself, we are running low on money”. An hour later Sally logged on to twitter and saw that it was over 3000 posts about her, and how she should kill her to disgrace the school like that. She eventually threw her laptop put of her bedroom window and locked the door, and turned her radio. She tied a rope to the exercise bar on her door and made a loop. Then she got on top of a chair and jumped off. It wasn't until the morning when her mother discovered the body.<br /><br />Message: If you wont say it in person, don't say it online.<br />Message 2: If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.<br />-If the band members would have been more comforting she wouldn't have been so nervous.<br />-If the principle and her mother was more supportive they could have put a stop to it.<br />Principle: Whats wrong?<br /><em>*Sally hands her the tweets.<br /></em>Principle: Haha. “goofy” thats a good one.<br />Sally: How was that a good one?<br />Principle: Well I dont know...... it made me laugh.<br />Sally: But... they told me to kill myself.<br />Principle: Well you did mess up really bad.<br />Sally: It still gives them no right.<br />Principle: Its no big deal.<br /><br />By Edward Davis, Asia Scales, Wesley Mills, Michelle Griffin and Tatiana LadsonKenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-31802335396339514982011-02-23T06:33:00.002-08:002011-02-24T22:14:10.762-08:00SCHOOL IS MY LIFEThe best part of my day is when I get home to do my homework. I love to waste paper, which makes me happy. That is what trees are here for! I use about ten pages just for my math. Five hours of homework is not a big deal. I don't like to spend time with my annoying family, that's just wasting my time. Who has time for Facebook and games? I don't think any of the students want to. I don't need any friends, if I did have friends, I would want to spend all my time doing their homework too. I even spend my weekends doing homework. English, Math, Science and History are my social life. This is what I do for fun! It is also helps me to become a better cheater. After years of copying off of other people, I have officially become the world's best cheater. Some people say the solution to all of this homework is to stop doing it and fail every class. Other people say only do half of it. Now the teachers want to give extra time at the end of class to do homework. This cannot be happening! If i finish all my homework in school, what am I suppose to do until three o'clock every morning? Next thing you know, they will want to give out less homework. My whole life will be over without homework! But of course some people can manage their social life and homework. I mean everyone can be a lawyer or doctor, but who wants to do that? All I want is my homework!<br /><br /> By: Melissa Bohlen, Foster Myarko, Khalid Wiley, Kennith Hines, Ting Ting LiangKenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7918457735324956653.post-63347116378093526182011-02-23T06:33:00.001-08:002011-02-23T06:41:21.776-08:00LIVE BELOW THE INFLUENCETeenage years are the best of your life, so do not spend them sober. Peer pressure is a huge issue faced by teens. But giving into peer pressure makes decisions a lot easier. Other teens always tell you to try something wild, so why not? All the cool kids we know have done drugs, drunken alcohol, or had sex so join the party. It will change your life.<br /> Parents tell you drugs are bad, but what do they know, they probably never even tired them. Drugs are a great way to relieve stress and make the day go by faster. Teens are stressed to the max and suicides are increasing. Drugs can make them happy, relaxed, and prevent the increase in suicides. Drugs can also be a cure for depression because it rids all feelings and emotions. Even famous people do drugs and have the time of their life. People like Lindsey Lohan, Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, and even Miley Cyrus do drugs. Many people think because drugs are illegal then they are bad, so the government should just legalize them. In Canada drugs are legal and they have very low violence rates. That is because everyone is happy, relieved from stress, and high; America needs to join the party.<br /> Even though alcohol is legal once you turn 21, no one can wait that long. Some teens are bullied at school and come home in pain. Drinking alcohol will relieve pain. If you ever get into a fight, get drunk and then fight you will not feel a thing. It is illegal to drive while drunk and a lot of crashes have resulted from drunk driving. But most teens do not have a car anyway, and if they do they can take public transportation home. Another good thing about alcohol is that it helps people express themselves. Some people have difficulties expressing their emotions; this can be a problem in relationships. Take a few shots of alcohol and you will not care about other people’s emotions and will come out with the truth. You can tell your partner how you think they need to lose weight, their breath stinks, and whatever other defects you think they have. If your partner becomes angered, who cares they should be happy you came out with the truth. Those were just a few helpful uses of alcohol.<br /> Peer pressure is one of the most influential reasons teens have sex. A lot of teens tell you of how good it feels and if you do not do it by time you are out of high school you are a lame. Well, everything they say is true so just give it a try. Do not be abstinent just because adults say it is the way to avoid STDS. There will always be a risk of getting an STD, because many people are not truthful about their past. Why would you wait until you are married, and your body is ready for sex by age 12? Also sex is another good way to express your love to a person. If you get pregnant or get someone pregnant, it is just another way of saying they love you such that they want to have a child. Lastly sex is a great way to get a boy under your control. Sometimes the best way to get him to do what you want to do is through sex. They will become more attracted towards you, and will do more things you ask for. So, always use drugs, drink alcohol, and have sex when offered it.<br /> Obviously peer pressure can lead to huge mistakes, and mess up a person’s life. We are teens ourselves and have not participated in any of the things mentioned above. When your friend offers you something that is looked down upon, think about where it has gotten your friend and if you want to be in the same place. No one can tell you what to do, but they can lead you to a bad future while others can lead you to a good one. The real way to deal with peer pressure is think about the consequences, good and bad, and do what you think is best.<a name="_GoBack"></a><br /><br />By: Christin Carter, Jennifer Carter, Mariah Phillips, Breana Newell, Tierra JonesKenwood Academy - English IIIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10035765255881415829noreply@blogger.com7