KENWOOD'S URGENT EMAIL TO STUDENT BODY

4K 2/22/2011 10:30 AM

URGENT!
Dear Students of Kenwood Academy,
School policies are just so unfair to the students. After careful consideration, the administration and faculty feel that the rules are too harsh and should be demolished. The following rules have been created instead to make school a more inviting and fun environment for students.
Rules for clothes:
Any colors that are too BRIGHT or DARK 20 detentions
Any pieces of clothing with too many words 20 detentions
Any v-necks pass your collar bone 25 detentions
Any shoes to colorful 20 detentions
Attendance:
Late to any period 15 detentions and 25 dollar fee to teachers at the door.
Late more than 3 times 300 dollars and explosion
Bathroom:
Will be closed during all periods you may use them before and after school
Bathrooms will be locked at 8:01
Hallways:
Caught in the hallways after the bell rings security will escort you to the Little Theater where you will be held until you write a 100 page essay on why you should be on time to classes. All notes must be turned in a timely manner to the security guards or 100 detentions.
Detentions:
Failure to serve any detentions will result in double the detentions the first time. Failure to serve those detentions will result in 100 dollar fee. Teachers have to get paid to stay late. Failure to pay and not serve will result in explosion. You have exactly one month to serve all the detentions.

PS: The rules of Kenwood are used to help the student. The clothing policy is to ensure that students remain as modest as possible. Nobody should see everything you have. Those who hold 90% attendance will have any outstanding detentions removed. Bathroom passes will be giving to those who hold no behavior problems which will be given at the teacher’s discretion. Passing periods could be longer, as long as students are willing to extend class periods for every minute extra in the hallway. Any students who have no behavior problems can have 3 detentions removed per semester. Students with non-behavior problems will be rewarded. Please work with Kenwood Academy where Our Mission Is College to improve your behavior. If you work with Kenwood, Kenwood is willing to work with you. Those with behavior problems please improve on this to make Kenwood a better place. The better your behavior, the less rules that are needed.

Thank you,

C.Winters. R.Guy S.Goodman A.Simmons
Kenwood’s Administrative Staff